Making a Garbage Plate
May 14th, 2005

Why?
Scot went to the Rochester Institute of Technology. In Rochester, New York, there is a restaurant called Nick Tahou's. Nick Tahou's is famous for making a dish called "The Garbage Plate." From the time I became friends with Scot (around 1990), he's been jabbering about this damn Garbage Plate. If he hears a friend is driving within 100 miles of Rochester: "I wonder if they'd bring me a Garbage Plate." If Rochester is in the news because of a triple murder: "Man, I'd like a Garbage Plate." If it snows anywhere in the state of New York: "Mmmm, Garbage Plate."

This August, my baseball team is playing in Rochester. I thought I'd get him worked up. You know, tease him a little bit. Toy with his emotions. Exploit his weakness for a little enjoyment. What are friends for?

So, I started small and sent Scot this short missive.

From: Jim
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 8:46 PM
To: Scot
Subject: Garbage Plate

Scot, 
 
http://patjenk.com/rochester/tahous/
 
Is this the right place?
 
Guess where I'm going to dinner on August 12th?    
 
Jim
 
  

Because of his mania, he reacted just as I predicted. This is this response.

From: Scot
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 8:47 PM
To: Jim
Subject: Re: Garbage Plate

I just got a chill down my spine...can you find a way to bring one home to me on ice?

Here's my order:

Double cheese burger plate with mac salad and don't forget to bring a piece of the stale bread.   
 		  

(I didn't make that up.)

He called several minutes later. I'll paraphrase the conversation because I'm afraid it may be telling of a cruel streak I may have. But, in short, I refused to bring him a Garbage Plate. I think I said something like, "You want me to pack this stinky thing in ice and drive it almost 300 miles confined in my car during the August heat? No way. I'll call you when I'm eating it, and describe the sensations I'm feeling." Okay, I enjoy a good prank. But I quickly realized I was in over my head. I love Scot. He's a good friend and a good man. I don't want to see him in pain. So, I agreed to bring him a Garbage Plate in August. Unfortunately, I struck on something here primal in his being. He needed that Garbage Plate and I aroused something in him that was going to make it difficult for him to wait until August. Driving from Akron to Rochester and back on a Thursday night in March was going too far to assuage my guilt. I offered to make him one.

This was little consolation to him. Frankly, he doubted my ability. And in this case, that was fair. I was offering to prepare a dish for him I'd never had. A dish that I obviously didn't grasp. From his point of view, I wasn't taking the Garbage Plate seriously. Offering to cook for a Garbage Plate connoisseur (I was starting to think "junkie" may be more accurate) is like offering to decant a bottle of Boone's Farm for a oenophile. Just like an alcoholic sometimes gets desperate enough to drink rubbing alcohol filtered through Wonder Bread, Scot agreed to let me attempt to make him one to tide him over until August.

What?
This couldn't be rushed. I knew I had to plan carefully. I had to do my research. I found several descriptions, recipes, homage, and photo pages. I tried to separate myth and legend from the facts I'd need.

Here's the recipe I came up with. Download a printable version here. It is based on this recipe.

The Garbage Plate
Serves 2

1 cup chopped yellow onions
3 cloves finely chopped garlic
1 T olive oil
1# ground beef (the cheap stuff)
½ cup water
¼ cup tomato paste
1 T dark brown sugar
1 t black pepper
2 t chili powder
½ t ground cumin
½ t allspice
¼ t cinnamon
¼ t ground cloves
1 t Kosher Salt
4 hamburger patties
4 slices of Swiss cheese
1 can baked beans
1# macaroni salad
1 T vegetable oil
1# frozen hash browns
Thickly sliced loaf of Italian Bread
Butter
Chinet® plates
Frank’s Original Red Hot®
 Genesee Beer

The Special Sauce
Sauté the onion and garlic in the olive oil until soft. Brown the ground beef with the onions and garlic stirring frequently. Add the water and tomato paste. When well blended, add the brown sugar, spices, and salt.  Simmer on medium-low for 30 minutes stirring frequently.  Add water as needed. If you haven’t had a Genesee yet, what’s wrong with you?

Accoutrements
Heat griddle and coat with vegetable oil. Spread hash browns and cook until browned on all sides. Meanwhile, cook hamburger patties until done. Put one slice of cheese on each patty. Heat baked beans in a saucepan until hot.

Assemble the Plate
Open second (or third) Genesee.  Side by side, on a Chinet® plate, spoon ½ pound of macaroni salad, ½ pound of baked beans, and ½ pound hash browns. Place two patties on each plate directly over the pound and a half. Ladle Special Sauce over everything to cover. Serve with Italian bread with butter, Frank’s Red Hot®, and more Genesee.
 

  

When?
I was ready. It was time to get it going. I sent the invitation out.

From: Jim
Sent: Wednesday, May 04, 2005 9:52 PM
To: Scot; Butch; Chris; Larry; Steve; Todd; Mike
Subject: Garbage Plate and Genesee Poker Night

 
Scot just had a birthday.  To celebrate, we're making Garbage Plates!  "What is a Garbage Plate?" you say. Many times I've heard Scot swooning about them from his days as the brown-nosing student he certainly was at the Rochester Institute of Technology. He's now a hard-nosed corporate executive but he's still pining for a Garbage Plate. In Scot's effort to recapture a small part of his misspent youth we're making up a batch.
 
Now, I've never had a Garbage Plate before. I've found pictures online that make me believe the dish is aptly named. I've also found a recipe that Scot thinks is authentic. You wanna know what a Garbage Plate is before you commit to attending?  Too bad. Life's too short to worry about that kind of thing. Besides, this thing is certain to make your life a little shorter anyway. So, it all works out in the end. If you must know, there are hamburgers, beans, macaroni salad, hashed browns, bread, butter, cheese, and "Special Sauce." I'm told that they must be served on the finest Chinet® platters available. If you arrive and find the Garbage Plate not to your liking maybe you could pick up some stuff that will be a little healthier and easier on your body - crack cocaine. I've done my research and found out the only appropriate beverage for a self-respecting Garbage Plate connoisseur is another product of the Rochester Cultural Enclave - Genesee Beer.  Mmmm, delicious.
 
So, next Saturday night, at my house, come celebrate Scot's birthday and help him relive a cherished "childhood" memory. (He was in college but he wasn't very mature for his age.)
 
Here are the details.
 
When:  Saturday, May 14th, 2005, 6:00p.m. 'til whenever
Where:  My house
What:  Garbage Plates, Genesee, (very low stakes) poker
What to bring:  We'll have a case of "Genny" but you're welcome to bring any non-Genny beverage you choose and a couple handfuls of quarters
What to wear:  Pants with an elastic waistband
 
Please RSVP - I need to know how much Chinet® to buy.
 
  

Surprisingly, I received nothing but regrets. The excuses included a trip to Vegas (Chris), chaperoning an eighth grade dance (Butch), a father-in-law in the hospital (Larry), and the most lame: an unexpected visit from the in-laws (nice one Mike). I was worried. Did I miss something? Are my friends seeing danger where I plunge - heedless of any peril?  I can't turn back now. So, it's just Scot and me.

Click on the pictures on the left to see The Garbage Plate being made.